The Roka ceremony is the official announcement of the relationship to the world. This is the first ceremony that leads to the wedding. Only members of immediate family and special friends are invited to this intimate ceremony. This is a point at which the two families get to know each other and plan the wedding.
Let's talk about this ceremony briefly.
How has the Roka Ceremony changed with Time?
Earlier, Punjabi weddings were generally arranged by families. Both girl and boy didn't know or see each other. Although, photographs were exchanged. The girl's family went to see the boy at his house and if they liked him and his family, they just gave him some money as a token of being 'rokafied' (stopping him from seeing any other girl for marriage). Similarly, the boy's family does the same with the girl.
With time there are certain changes in the ceremony, in love marriages, it is the chance for both families to meet each other as the girl and boy know each other well. Even in an arranged marriage, a Roka ceremony is done in the presence of a boy and girl and with their proper consent.
What are the important Events at the Roka Ceremony?
Both families get under one roof at a commonplace. This could be a girl's house or any public hall. Everybody brings gifts and Shagun money to bless the couple. The couple sits next to each other. First, the father of the girl places some money in the 'Shagun Rumaal' placed in the boy's lap along with some sweets and gifts and blesses him to be a part of his family. The same is done with the girl by her future mother-in-law, she is gifted with some money, sweets and probably some jewelry too. After this everyone congratulates each other and the future bride and groom. Sweets and gifts are exchanged between the family members too.
How to Dress For the Roka Ceremony?
Well, the Roka ceremony is not a big event but is a very important one. You need to be properly dressed as it is the first time your whole in-laws' family sees you.
A boy could go for some ethnic dress like churidar and kurta or can wear a simple suit too.
A girl can wear an embroidered Punjabi suit, Sharara suit or even a Pajami suit. Light makeup and some Punjabi Jewelry. Just remember not to go over the board with your looks. It should be simple yet elegant.
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